(Verse 1)
Slippers sliding on the floor,
Didn’t see that rug before.
Grabbed the table, missed the edge,
Now I’m hanging off the ledge.

(Pre-Chorus)
You say it’s life, you say it’s age,
But I just call it bad terrain.
One wrong step, one little slip,
And now I’m on a downward trip.

> (Chorus)
Geriatric falls are not seasonal,
They're sudden, swift, and unreasonable.
Not a leaf, not a plan,
Just bad balance, here I am.
It's not nature, it's accidental,
Gravity’s cruel and consequential.
One small stumble, there I go,
Someone get me off this floor.

(Verse 2)
Doctor says, “Watch where you tread,”
But my knees don’t hear what’s said.
Thought I’d dance, thought I’d glide,
Now I’m staring at the sky.

(Pre-Chorus)
You call it fate, you call it time,
But this ain’t some grand design.
One bad rug, one misstep,
And now I need a safety net.

(Chorus)
Geriatric falls are not seasonal,
They're sudden, swift, and unreasonable.
Not a leaf, not a plan,
Just bad balance, here I am.
It's not nature, it's accidental,
Gravity’s cruel and consequential.
One small stumble, there I go,
Someone get me off this floor.

(Bridge)
Life moves fast, but I move slow,
Who put that curb so damn low?
Maybe next time, I’ll stay in place,
Or wrap myself in bubble tape.

(Outro)
Golden years, yeah, they sound nice,
'Til you slip on melted ice.
So if I fall, don’t make it fate—
Just pick me up and set me straight.